I am in the middle of a family conflict. It's relatively tame compared to what I read in newspapers and magazines where blood relatives fight and kill each other but it is as much a waste of time and resources.
Just a few days ago I got a call from an older female relative who riled at me, accusing me of saying and doing some things that I never did. When she started spewing the words to describe what she thought my 'sins' were, I couldn't help but be amazed at how well the script was written by the one who invented this silly soap opera and how sad it was that someone who was supposed to put God above all things could think of saying such words.
You see, this OFR (older female relative) is a very active and enthusiastic member of a religious group. It's relatively small and is not even known nationally or even regionally but what does it matter? If their pastor was good enough to convince the OFR to quit smoking (a habit picked up years ago), quit swearing, play Christian songs at full blast and speak in tongues, then perhaps he's on to something good. Who cares what size of flock he has?
So anyway, before OFR joined this group she was a different person. Privileged, thanks to good income and a husband who earns well, she nevertheless grew up in a low income family, with several relatives living in one roof. She had a good education, though, thanks to support from older siblings and when she married, she lucked on a man who had drive and ambition. As her bank account grew, so did her little ego, the kind that whispered so convincingly that she was above others and that she was better, especially at judging people.
She had a troubled marriage but thanks to guidance from their group's leader, she and her husband reconciled and remains together. Her religious affiliation became like a drug to her and she followed the rules the pastor set to heart, even breaking the religious icon she had kept on the family altar for many years.
Then she began to quote the scriptures. And spread it. Speak with her on the phone and phrases from the Christian Bible would be sneaked in. When she learned to use the mobile phone, she would put in words from the scriptures with the source included (Book: chapter: verse).
She used to share these passages to me and I truly appreciated it. To me it was like, "Oh so that's where that phrase comes from!" Sharing those wonderful passages especially about love, compassion and hope made me happy and I looked forward to them. However, since we weren't really that close, these passages were few and far between.
Nevertheless, I thought it was great that she found something she was passionate about and she so dearly clung to her new-found faith, even bringing some of her children with her. Her husband, however, remained steadfast.
I thought she was all right - she was bubbly, funny, had an infectious laugh, quite generous and thoughtful. She was helpful to me and my family and would often play the consummate hostess when we drop by their house for a visit.
And then that thing had to happen.
That thing about someone in my family making up a story about me and my sibling. It was serious enough to make the aunts go into panic mode and OFR was on level 10. She sent a very hurtful, accusing message to my sibling that contained words I never imagined could come out of her, er... Christian heart. And then she tells me stuff I never could imagine would come out of her Christian mouth.
She was my accuser and judge, making her conclusions based on a malicious story another aunt made up. And she didn't even bother to check if the story were true.
I was unpleasantly surprised and dismayed.
Of all the people who would say and think those things, it had to be her. She, the aunt I thought was the most adorable of them all not only because she was cute but because she seemed exuberant and genuine.But then again, I've always been a poor judge of character.
But still...
It was disappointing. Although the rumor was untrue, it was hurtful and these OFRs didn't even bother to consider how we would feel, especially the other aunt, the one who started the rumor. Seriously, why invent something that could potentially get someone in hot water just because you're pissed and don't like them? And to think I am not even the type of person who would fire back. But of course, that was all in the past. With relatives such as these, the most stupid thing you can do is just stand back and smile as they throw daggers your way.
I wonder how OFR is doing. I wonder what she is thinking now that she has discovered the truth. Did she believe it or did she decide to stick to the story her sister made up? Did she feel genuinely sorry for saying those things? I wonder what she did after realizing her mistake. Did she bow her head to pray, feeling genuinely remorseful for un-Christ-like behavior or did she just shrug it all off, thinking I and my sibling weren't important components of her comfortable life anyway and that she could care less how we feel.
And then I wonder if she got into her nice car, played jolly Christian songs and went shopping.
No comments:
Post a Comment